i kid you not

So, I'm coming up out of the bart station tonight at around 7pm, it is still beautifully light, and I'm listening to the iPod and reflecting on my day. I had to speak briefly in a programming meeting this afternoon, and if you know me well, you know that the seminar-size table of people strikes terrible fear into my trembling and speechless heart. But today I was sitting between my two bosses, and I like them both, they are both men my age but they are both very much taller than me, they are kind to me, I like having two of them, and I felt very protected sitting between them, and that made the having to speak up a little bit easier. One is dark, and one is fair. This caused me to think about being in yoga the other day, it was a crowded class, and, somewhat unusually, there was a man on either side of me, one was dark and one was fair, and the whole practice, I felt sort of sweetly protected by them--just their scale alone--and companionable. I have two brothers, one dark, one fair; I had two fathers, one dark, one fair. Then I thought, you know, perhaps I should have two husbands! At that VERY MOMENT I was ASSAULTED AND ROBBED by two (male) assailants, one dark, one fair.

What say ye, friends and foes, to finish this luckless lady's fable?